I’m originally Afro-Caribbean man from London living in Melbourne for the last 12 yrs as I met an Australian in Vauxhall, London, fell in love and here I am separated (amicably) with 2 lovely children, who I constantly remind it’s Football NOT soccer! I digress.

[ ]


As I write this, I had a question about you being a white male and if that has allowed you to navigate your life & experiences, but now I’m thinking I should ask about what I should do about my ICE addiction! I’m currently managing it all as I work as a social worker & holding down a relationship but the wheels are in danger of coming off! Anyway, pick which ever question you like!

Dear Kevin,

You are black, and I am white, and we are men – these facts have undoubtedly shaped the way we have each experienced life, and influenced how we have navigated it, in ways we cannot begin to measure. However, I think that the colour of our skin, or what sex we are, is probably the least interesting thing we can say about each other – we humans are far more complex and intriguing than that. There is certainly a conversation we could have about this, but perhaps that is for another, less pressing, time.

Kevin, I think that we are both sufficiently experienced in the ways of the world to recognise that there is a powerful democratising force, a common factor, a unifying element that brings us all together, like one big family, black and white, rich and poor, man and woman, Christian, Jew, Muslim, a man from Australia, or a man from the Caribbean – and that is drug addiction, whether to methamphetamine, fentanyl, heroin, or whatever, and the fact that, as using addicts, we are completely fucked.

You may tell yourself that you are managing your life – your job, your relationship, your children’s well-being – but if you are, as you say, addicted to ice, then the wheels have already come off. I say this with all the love and respect in the world, as someone who was hooked on heroin and amphetamines for twenty years – addict to addict – you need to stop fucking around and get clean.

For me, getting off drugs began with Narcotics Anonymous. This may or may not suit you. There are parts of N.A. that are initially challenging for some, such as its spiritual aspect, the relinquishing of control, the sense of togetherness and community, things that can feel deeply alien for those hardened by years of addiction. Still, I credit it with helping me survive my own dependency. It is also worth noting that my ex-addict friends all attest to a life beyond imagining once they gave up drugs. They are no longer imprisoned, deluded, or full of self-pity, but free.

Kevin, I look forward to the day when, drug-free, we can address the massive bloody elephant in the room – if football is called football, why do they kick a soccer ball?

I wish you all the best.

Love, Nick

Ask a Question